When Doubts Creep In...

There are moments as a homeschool parent when the doubts about your adequacy start to replace your excitement and enthusiasm for your choice to travel down the uncharted road of homeschooling.  We all have the tough day when everything seems to go wrong – the kitchen sink backs up, the baby comes down with a fever, your mother-in-law calls and needs a ride to the doctor and your best laid plans of taking your 1st and 3rd graders to the museum and have a picnic lunch at the beach while studying about dolphins have to be put aside. At those moments, you start to wonder if you are cut out for this “homeschooling thing” or if you are doing your children a disservice. As I approach the ending of my journey as a homeschool mom, those doubts creep into my mind too. Have I taught my daughter everything I was supposed to? Why didn’t I spend a little more time on quadratic formulas in Algebra 2? I’m sure she would have done better on her SAT if I had been better disciplined and used every spare moment to teach her more things! It’s all my fault I am an inadequate human being!

As I was wrestling with these kind of thoughts the other afternoon, God prompted me to remember the story of Moses. God chose him to deliver God’s people from the oppression of the Pharaoh. He was not a fully equipped and trained leader. He was actually a man in hiding trying to escape punishment for killing the Egyptian. Not exactly who we would think God would choose to do such a mighty work! Even Moses knew he wasn’t the “perfect” person for the job and tried to get out of the call three times. The first time he said…”Who am I?” (Ex. 3:11) The second time he said…”But they will not believe me or listen to me.” (Ex. 4:1) The third time (can you imagine his desperation)…”I can’t even talk right!” (Ex. 4:10) And God’s answer to Moses was, “Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”  (Ex 4:12)

God doesn’t call perfect people to do His work. He chooses the broken, the imperfect, the weak, so that His power can be revealed. (“Therefore I will glory in my infirmities, for when I am weak, You are strong.” 2 Cor. 12:9) And God says to us, homeschool parents…”Now, therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak…” Most definitely. You can be sure of it.  He is here for us. We are not doing this job alone and we do not have to be perfect to be used by Him. All He wants is a willing, obedient heart. My prayer for you is that you remember Moses on those days when the doubts creep in and don’t get discouraged! God is with you!

In His service,
Susan Truman