“Don’t touch that!” “Wash your hands!” “Cover your mouth when you cough!” How many times have you said those things the past few months as we have been dealing with the start of the winter cold season? We are always so focused on keeping our kids from getting around any kinds of germs that are contagious!
Here’s a new thought for the New Year! How about deliberately exposing your kids (and yourselves) to contagious situations?! Sounds crazy, right? I remember when my oldest was little, we deliberately exposed him to our friend’s child who had chicken pox, so we could get it over with while he was younger and it wasn’t as dangerous (yes, I’m that old that we didn’t have chicken pox vaccines back then!) As you approach the new year, what about intentionally exposing your children to some positive contagious attitudes?
What attitude do you want your children to “catch” this year?
Want them to have a more grateful spirit? Look for potential friends for your children whom you have seen be appreciative for their blessings and not demanding and whiny.
Want to see your kids demonstrate a more compassionate heart for their siblings? Invite a family over from your church whom you have seen giving to others in need even when they are struggling themselves.
Want them to be excited about learning? Consider your attitude about learning new things. You know your kids spend more time with you than anyone else. Are you excited about learning new things and seeking out new books to read? Are you sharing with them your wonder of God’s creation when you go on a nature walk and you see some new plant or new cloud formation in the sky? Are you seeking to surround yourself with people who inspire you to learn more so that you can in turn inspire your children to learn more?
Do you want your kids to be filled with peace and an ability to conquer anxiety? Provide opportunities for your children to be stretched with responsibilities that are just a bit out of reach and don’t protect them every minute. Give them room to fail, so they can “catch” the attitude that God is still in control in their lives even in the tough times. Share with them about the struggles you are going through and how God is filling your heart with peace.
As we know, our role as parents is very influential! God gave us a very important job. The question shouldn’t be “Am I contagious?” but “Am I spreading germs that I want my child to catch?” In the New Year, take a look in the mirror and make sure that you are showing attitudes that you want your children to “catch.” If you are aren’t exhibiting a positive contagious spirit, take to heart the words of Paul to the Corinthians:
“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the traditions, just as I delivered them to you.”
(1 Corinthians 11:1-2)
Let’s spread a “Christ-like Flu” in 2019!
In His service,
Christmas! That word brings so many beautiful happy thoughts!! Sparkling lights! Beautiful gifts! Happy family gatherings! Fireplaces! Delicious food! Surprise gifts! Music that touches the heart! Love!!
What would be the impact on this precious holiday if we put “Give Grace” at the top of our Gift List? That is my prayer for you this month. We always want other people to show us grace, give us the benefit of the doubt, and forgive us when we are selfish or careless. What if we led the way by following Christ’s example and made a conscious effort to extend grace to others this season? Wouldn’t our world be a more peaceful and loving place? Think about it! Instead of jumping to the conclusion that someone meant to be rude to us, or someone meant to take us for granted, or someone was deliberately trying to hurt our feelings – what if we stopped ourselves from assuming the worst? What if we stopped thinking about ourselves and our hurt feelings and instead asked the other person who we think has done us some wrong how they are and what they are struggling with? What if we extended them the same grace that we always want others to show to us? Christ calls us to love everyone and show them grace and forgiveness.
"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13
How beautiful it is to see children who have been brought up with a spirit of grace and I get to witness them showing grace and forgiveness to others instead of being self-focused and getting their feelings hurt at the drop of a hat. My heart is so warmed and encouraged when I am able to observe a child reduce their focus on "fairness" and "justice" and put a higher focus on love and forgiveness! We, as parents have a huge responsibility to teach our children about God's grace, the beautiful free gift the Lord gives us that we don't deserve!
When we fully grasp our fallen nature and God’s amazing love and mercy for us, how can we possibly withhold grace and be critical of others? That is the true beauty of Christmas! God loves us so very much that He sent Jesus at Christmas to save us from our sinful selves. How can we hold onto that and claim it for ourselves and not pass it on to others around us?
I am praying that you wrap up a big dose of “Grace” and give it to everyone on your list this year!
In His service,
The holidays!! Like it or not, they are almost here. We are moving into a time of Thanksgiving, where we will all be preparing for the annual conversation around the Thanksgiving dining table about what we are each thankful for. I would like to propose to you that a big part of developing a thankful spirit in our children comes from making serving others a priority for them.
A heart for service can be seen in a 4 year old’s life and a 44 year old’s life. It can be seen in a busy person’s life or a retired person’s life. In other words, we are all called to have hearts of service.
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” (Galatians 5:13)
This is not in our nature, nor is it encouraged by our society. Our nature is to seek to satisfy our own desires and to put them before the needs of others. Society tells us that we are to “watch out for #1” and to “love yourself.” It is not an automatic thing for us to put our desires aside and sacrificially do something for someone else.
Our children need to be taught the character trait of serving. You have to be intentional about this. Be looking for opportunities to serve others either as individuals or as a family. Here is one of those very important times as a parent to lead by example. If you are regularly coming a few minutes early to events and offering to help set up or staying late to help clean up, your children will grow up to think that is normal. If you are frequently making a double serving of dinner and taking the extra to a shut-in neighbor, it will be normal for your children to make up a batch of cookies to take over to them also.
By sacrificially doing things for others and spending time with other people who are less fortunate than themselves, children are more likely to develop a thankful spirit or have an “Attitude of Gratitude.” And when we obey our Heavenly Father’s command to “serve one another humbly in love,” we will be blessed. Let’s not undermine our children’s potential of receiving God’s blessings by not teaching them about service.
At Coastal, we feel pretty passionate about this and that is why a few years ago we adopted our Community Service Hours program. Our high school students are required to complete a minimum of 25 hours/year of community service and students of all ages are encouraged to participate in the Presidential Service Awards program and receive recognition at Graduation. It is a tool for you to use to help you in teaching your children the principle of Galatians 5:13.
This year, may your Thanksgiving celebration be all the richer because everyone around your table has a heart of service as well as of gratitude.
Giving thanks for you,
Have you ever spent time blowing up a large balloon only to have your fingers slip, the balloon escapes from you, flies across the room, and all the air leaves the balloon? How discouraging it is to have emptied your lungs for nothing and have to do it all over again!
A few harsh words of criticism to your children can do a quick job of deflating them, and undo all your efforts in building them up. As homeschooling parents who are both teacher and parent, balancing between constructive correction and criticism is a challenging job. They have opposite effects on a child. Correction can build up a child. It is empowering for him as he receives tools and specifics for improvement. Criticism however, deflates a child, causing them to retreat in a broken and hurt state feeling rejected. Correction can cause a child to thoughtfully examine themselves while criticism usually results in a child responding with defensive denial of any wrongdoing on their part. A child tends to start blaming others and move farther and farther away from the developing the humble teachable spirit that the Lord wants us all to exhibit.
So, how can we avoid this destructive trap? The Lord calls us to give gentle instruction (2 Tim 2:25) and to work towards gentle restoration (Gal 6:1.) There is no place in Godly correction for harsh words and tone of voice. When we must correct our children, we need to make sure our motives are pure (Phil 2:3.) We should not be trying to get even with our kids, to compete with them to feed our egos, or to get our own way. We are called to come in humility (Prov. 22:4.) Constructive correction addresses specific behavior and does not make generalizations. For example, “You need to finish your math homework before you can play your video game” vs “You are so lazy and never get your work done on time!” There is no place in correction for comparing your child to their sibling or friends. That will only destroy. God does not say to me “Susan, why can’t you be like the other godly people in your church who give so much time to me?” He says “Susan, remember to ask me before you say yes to anyone else about priorities for your time.” Correction should always include specific steps for our children to take to make a change. Another very powerful thing we can do as parents in helping our children respond positively to correction is to model that for them. With humility, let your children know about times you have received correction and about the things you are working on to improve.
Remember Christian homeschooling is all about discipling our children and when we deflate their spirits with selfish words of criticism, we are not doing our job. Praying the Lord will give you the clarity to see the difference between correction and criticism and help to inflate your children’s lives with the Word of God!
In His service,
I am so in awe of Christ’s resurrection! Because of the Resurrection, I can walk by faith and not by sight. As I look back over my life, in all those moments that I walked by faith and followed the Lord’s direction instead of walking by sight and doing what seemed logical, God worked in amazing ways.
When everyone counseled us to not take my mom in to live with us when she couldn’t pay for her housing anymore, I was able to walk by faith and take her in anyway and care for her for 25 years. When family finances didn’t look like it made sense for me to stay at home and be a homeschool mom, I was able to walk by faith and stay home anyway and watch God work in very creative ways to bring our finances together. When God allowed us to become parents to a severely autistic child, I grew to live in peace (eventually!) and not in constant fear of what our future holds. When my husband had a heart attack two years ago and it looked like I might lose him, I was able to walk by faith that God has the perfect amount of days numbered for our lives. There is power in the Resurrection!!
My hope for you this Eastertide is that you will be able to impart to your children the power the Resurrection can have in their lives. Look for opportunities to encourage them to make choices based on faith in Christ and not based on what the world is telling them to do. Teach them to make the hard decisions to obey Christ and not to do what seems wise in their own eyes. May the amazing fact that Christ rose from the dead, give you faith that you can trust Him and be obedient to Him.
Praying for you and your family to have a blessed Resurrection Sunday!
Dear Coastal families,
We are beginning our re-enrollment process this month for next year and I figured it was time to revisit the issue of Charter Schools. It is a topic I discuss with current and prospective families quite a bit. I want you to be well informed on the issue.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with them, Charter Schools are public schools which allow for deviation from the traditional classroom setting. Sometimes they are hybrid models where there is some group teaching as well as parent supervised homework at home and others support full homeschooling programs where parents provide all the instruction and submit work samples to a credentialed teacher periodically for approval. As you know, public school districts receive Local and State funding for each student enrolled in their schools, so any child enrolled in a charter school also brings the public school district additional funds.
The attraction of the charter school model to many families is that additional funds are provided to the family for curriculum and extra-curricular activities.
Concerns about Charter Schools
1. By definition, any instruction by a public school (including a Charter School) must remain non-sectarian, so Christian curriculum cannot be taught during the school day. Funds cannot be used for Christian curriculum and Work Samples cannot be based on Christian curriculum. Occasionally some families choose to not talk about God or Scriptural values during their school day and then do duplicate work after hours from a Christian worldview. One needs to think carefully about the message that sends one’s child.
2. As you know, public school districts receive Local and State funding for each student enrolled in their schools, so any child enrolled in a charter school brings the public school district additional funds to use for their purposes and agenda. For the 2016-2017 school year, the average revenue for a student in California public schools was $13,452. Therefore, by enrolling in a charter school, a family provides the district with approximately an additional $11,000/year per student (after the funds they set aside to provide to the family) for them to use for their curriculum development and programs, which as we know are usually in opposition to Christian values (literature selections, history lessons, science philosophies etc.)
3. Instruction must match California standards thereby requiring instruction in Common Core Standards.
4. Charter school students may or may not be subject to the California State Immunization requirements. It varies widely between the different charter schools.
I have definitely seen a trend in the charter school homeschool movement that resembles a “management of the child’s tutors” more than the child actually receiving instruction from the parents. I would caution you against falling into that mentality. While an occasional group class can be very beneficial to supplement what you are teaching at home, it is a slippery slope to letting a long list of outside classes define your child’s curriculum. You, as the parent end up missing the benefit of customizing the teaching to your child’s learning style etc. In addition, your child’s spiritual development will be strongly influenced by your tutor’s world view. By law, a tutor from a charter school vendor will not be encouraging your child’s Christian development.
I would strongly encourage you to read the following articles from CHEA and HSLDA regarding their opinions and cautions about choosing to enroll your students in a public charter school.
We very much respect each family’s choice to educate their children however they see fit. At Coastal, we are here to support Christian homeschooling and felt it was important for you to be informed about all sides of this topic. If you have any questions, please contact me. I'm happy to discuss this with you further.
So, how has your new year been so far? I bet most of you answered that in your heads as “busy!” As we head into the month of February and the stores force us to think about love and gifts for loved ones, my question for you is “Is your life so busy that you are too busy for love?”
Are you too busy to pick up the phone when a friend calls? Are you too busy to read your emails that you end up missing the one asking you to sign up to bring a meal to a friend’s family who is in a crisis? Are you too busy to recognize when your child just needs you to sit with them and listen instead of driving them to the next “amazing experience?” Are you too busy to stop and think of something thoughtful you could do for your spouse today? Are you too busy to find 15 minutes to spend alone with your Heavenly Father each day?
There are so many passages in Scripture which instruct us on how to love but the one that God kept bringing to my mind as I was mulling over this “busyness problem” is the well-known passage in Luke 10 about Mary & Martha. Jesus is over at their house and Martha is stressed and busy in the kitchen preparing food while Mary sits as Jesus’ feet and listens to his teaching. Jesus admonishes Martha that her “busyness” is not the better path.
How often are we the “Marthas” who are just “too busy” to stop and pick the better path? This month as we focus on love, I encourage you to stop and be intentional about making space in your life to build into the community around you. Drop some of these activities that the world has told you that you have to be involved in and seek God’s direction for investing in the lives of people around you. Make time to get to Park Day and sit and deepen a friendship with another parent. Make it a priority to get to a Mom’s Night Out where God may well have a divine appointment for you to make a new friend. Open up your schedule so that when a friend needs you to bring them dinner or pick up their mail while they are on vacation, you can do it happily. There are so many opportunities around us every day to be loving and share God’s love and we don’t even see them as we are rushing to our next activity.
Slow down and create space in your life for love!
“A friend loves at all times.” Proverbs 17:17
This week marks the 500th anniversary of the beginning of the Reformation of the Christian church when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Castle Church. This is an important event on which any Christian homeschool should pause and focus and discuss its meaning and impact.
The Protestant Reformation of the 16th century changed Christianity forever. Concerned by the corruption and abuses they saw in the church of the time, visionary pastors and leaders like Martin Luther and John Calvin spearheaded a movement that transformed Christianity and eventually led to the emergence of the Protestant denominations that exist today.
The Reformers were guided by the conviction that the church of their day had drifted away from the essential, original teachings of Christianity, especially in regard to what it was teaching about salvation—how people can be forgiven of sin through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and receive eternal life with God.
Below are the “Five Solas” that emerged during the Reformation to summarize the Reformers’ theological convictions about the essentials of Christianity.
1. Sola Scriptura (“Scripture alone”): The Bible alone is our highest authority.
2. Sola Fide (“faith alone”): We are saved through faith alone in Jesus Christ.
3. Sola Gratia (“grace alone”): We are saved by the grace of God alone.
4. Solus Christus (“Christ alone”): Jesus Christ alone is our Lord, Savior, and King.
5. Soli Deo Gloria (“to the glory of God alone”): We live for the glory of God alone.
Of particular focus during this time was “Sola Gratia,” the fact that we are saved by grace alone. Scripture teaches us that there is nothing we can do to insure our salvation. It is only by God’s amazing gracious gift that we may have eternal life.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:8 & 9
Why is God’s grace so important?
Today’s world is very performance focused and we are constantly thinking about how we “measure up.” Is our house as nice as our neighbor’s? Is our car too old? Did our kids learn to read before all their peers? How fit do our bodies look? How impressive was our last vacation? Is our child the star player on the soccer team? And the list goes on……… Social media has become a breeding ground for an out of control focus on performance, instead of what it should be - a positive place to connect friends.
The result of this achievement focus is exhaustion, anxiety, discouragement, and depression. You have either experienced it personally or seen it in a loved one. It is all around us. These negative patterns and emotions can be minimized when we focus on Gods’ Amazing Grace. When we truly grasp that there is nothing we have to do to receive God’s gift of love and acceptance and eternal life, what a peace and freedom that brings to our souls!
Then and only then are we full enough of God’s love to share His grace with others. Then we can be loving enough to not judge and criticize everyone around us. When we completely understand what God has done for us in our sinful wretched state, then we will stop standing in judgement of everyone else knowing that we are no better and can share God’s grace and unconditional love with others.
Wouldn’t that be a wonderful world to live in?!!!
May you have a grace-filled Reformation Month!!
In His service,
As our month of October begins, our thoughts often turn to costumes as our kids start asking “what shall I wear to our Harvest Party?” Well, I want to encourage you to consider, “What costume do you want to wear as a homeschool parent?” Not for an upcoming Harvest Party, but all year long!
Some options might be:
Mrs. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus – always has an answer for everything and fun-loving
Sherlock Holmes – always serious and carefully studying everything around him
The Hulk – strong and authoritative letting your anger get the best of you
Maurice, Belle’s father from Beauty & the Beast – very loving and smart but lacking in common sense
Fairy Godmother from Cinderella – focused solely on making everyone’s dreams come true and keeping them happy
Or perhaps…..Mary Poppins – “Practically Perfect in Every Way” – the nanny with the perfect balance between seriousness/responsibility and a love of play and enjoyment of the fanciful.
Most of us start out our school year with fresh new books and lesson plans and we are determined to stick to them and stay on schedule. Our day becomes all about making it through the assigned pages. I’d like to encourage you to not forget to allow for an occasional trip into a “sidewalk chalk painting” and allowing for everyone’s imaginations to flourish! Let there be purely “fun” moments in your day. Don’t get so over committed to outside classes and activities that you can’t just drop everything and go outside and pretend to be the honey bees you were just reading about in your science book. Stop and have everyone put on some eyeliner like Cleopatra wore. Trace the outline of the state of Texas on your sandwich bread with a knife at lunchtime. Have everyone practice an Irish accent as you talk about the potato famine in Ireland. Give your dining table a voice as it begs to be cleaned up for dinner time. Have fun! Be silly!
These “diversions” may slow you down and may mean that tomorrow you might need to do two pages of math instead of one, but it will be SOOOO worth it! These fun and silly moments will be the things your kids will remember and will help them build a tighter bond with you. Jane and Michael loved Mary Poppins because she played with them. She didn’t just smile at them and spoil them like their mother and she wasn’t just strict and logical like their father either. She was a balance of discipline and whimsy which is what Jane and Michael needed to snap them out of their selfish whiny ways.
Ask the Lord for creativity and for help in developing a playful spirit and you might be surprised what tricks He puts in the carpet bag of your Mary Poppins costume!
Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
With a joy-filled heart as I pray for you,
For tonight’s Back-to-School inspiration, I’m going to start with an old Sunday school favorite.
Play a few seconds of “The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock”.
You all know how it goes. About a month ago, after a lot of praying to God and asking for what Scripture He wanted me to share with you tonight, He pointed me back to this well-known parable that Jesus shared at the end of the Sermon on the Mount. As the events of the last few weeks have unfolded in Houston and Florida with the hurricanes, I know see why God had me meditating on the passage about the Wise Man and the Foolish Man. We have an amazing and dramatic object lesson happening right in our midst.
The beginning of the passage is up on the screen. “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” Matthew 7:24
We know that it then goes on to talk about the foolish man who builds his house on the sand and what happens to each when the storms come. What I hope to do tonight is apply this parable in some very practical ways to your homeschools. I want you to have a really successful school year. As Christian homeschoolers, we know that our jobs are so much more than just being educators. We are our children’s disciplers. The health of our homeschools is directly related to the health of our homes. There is no “right” curriculum that is going to do nearly as much to help your child grow and flourish as a healthy home.
If I were to ask you to describe your house to me, you would most likely tell me about the location, the color, the design, the square footage, the size of the lot, and the number of bedrooms. But you probably wouldn’t tell me about the foundation. You might not even know much about your foundation. Yet, as we have seen from the hurricanes, the foundation of your house makes all the difference. This is true not only of your house; it is also true of your life.
So what does it mean to build your house on solid rock?
In the same way, we can hear all of Jesus’ words and even have it memorized, but if we don’t do what He says, we aren’t building the right foundation. We can know that it is wrong to lie, but if we take our 13 year old to the movies and have them say they are 12 to get the child’s discount, we are not obeying God’s word and very likely, our child lies to us regularly about things like getting their schoolwork done. We can know that the Lord calls us to self-control and to use our speech to edify and build up others, but when our child disobeys for the 10th time and we lose our patience and lash out in anger, we are not obeying God’s word and very likely our child is being disrespectful back to us as well. When we’ve been the victim of gossip or slander and we react with the same thing trying to take revenge instead of being forgiving, we are not obeying God’s Word and we see our children starting to treat people the same way. However, obeying God’s Word will strengthen your foundation.
This is so critical because the parable goes on to say in verse 25,“And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.” It’s important to note that Jesus does not say “if the rain falls” or “if the floods come” or “if the winds blow.” He tells us straight-up that storms will come and we will not be spared! A strong foundation based on obedience to God’s word, however, will give us the strength to withstand the storms.
As I look out tonight at you all, I know there are all kinds of storms going on in your lives - there are financial pressures, newly discovered learning challenges, lost jobs, health problems, ailing grandparents, wayward adult children, wayward teens, marital conflict, anxiety/depression.
When personal storms come, often lives are destroyed and left in shambles. But if we construct our lives according to Christ’s building codes, we will not be destroyed. While obedience to Jesus’ words is not a protection from the troubles; it is a protection in the troubles. I want to encourage you: All the time that you have invested in laying your biblical foundation will pay off. It will keep you from spiraling down into depression or anxiety and help keep you strong in your faith and trust in God as being sovereign. Storms will come and go. We are all either in a trial, coming out of a trial, or entering into a trial. Nevertheless, if you’ve built your life on the foundation of Christ, you have nothing to fear.
However Jesus knows that we are not all going to do that, so he goes on in his parable to talk about the foolish man. In verse 26 He says, “And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.” The foolish builder also heard Jesus’ words but didn’t act upon them. So, why does the foolish man build his house on the sand? He doesn’t figure any storms are coming. He thinks the sand is a good location. It’s adequate. It’s a lot easier than digging down deep if you don’t have to. It takes more work to build on the rock. It takes more time and energy. And it costs more.
The same is true when it comes to the foundation of your life. To have a foundation built on sandy soil is to take the easy route, to compromise with the world - in your entertainment choices, in your priorities. It is easier to go with the crowd. As a homeschool parent, this might mean skipping your bible course work and focusing more on your math scores so you can brag to acquaintances about how great your child is doing or possibly manipulating your child’s behavior with bribes to get them to obey you instead of taking the time to biblically train their hearts.
But in verse 27, Jesus closes His parable with “The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.” Jesus concludes His parable and the entire Sermon on the Mount with an illustration of warning rather than of encouragement. I thrive on encouragement. I like to encourage others and be encouraged myself. Yet, as much as I appreciate encouragement, there is something very powerful about a word of warning that snaps us to attention. If our home is built on sandy soil and the storms hit, our homeschools completely fall apart as we, as the leader spiral down without hope and faith.
Lots of Christians try to change foundations when the rain starts. When the sky gets dark, the winds pick up, and the rain begins to pour they pick up the telephone, call the most spiritual people they know, and say, “Help me build a new foundation under my house. It’s falling apart.” But it’s pretty hard to change a foundations when you’re in the midst of a storm. People in Florida right now, can’t go out and dig under their homes and pour a new concrete foundation. The foundation has to be poured on sunny days.
So I want to encourage you tonight to do a little building inspection. Is your home on solid rock? Is there peace in your home? Is there respect in your home? Are your lives reflecting the fruit of the spirit? Or do you feel like you’re hanging a bit by a thread and the next problem you encounter is going to send you in a downward spiral? If so, as you start out this new school year and you are busy getting new patterns set, be conscious and intentional about adding things into your life that are going to help turn your sandy foundation into a firm slab of rock!
God bless you and I pray that you have a wonderful year of discipling your children.
This is a collection of the reflections our principal, Susan Truman submits to our monthly newsletters. She is married to her college sweetheart and is a mother of three. She graduated two of her children from Coastal with her third child attending a special needs school.